Knock, Knock... Who's there? PEANUT!

I think I felt my first kicks on December 15th and Tom says he has felt some as well. Generally they seem to happen behind my ever tightening zipper. I have been wearing Bella Bands (like a tube top that you wear around your waist to hold your pants up when you leave them unbuttoned and increasingly unzipped) for about a month. They were working great at first when I could leave my pants half zipped, but now that I need to leave them more and more undone, I feel like my pants are going to fall off every time I bend over or squat.

So I went and tried on some maternity cloths today at Motherhood Maternity. Now trying on clothes on a good day is never my favorite thing to do. I was actually pleased to be able to fit into the regular length maternity pants they had on hand and find they look pretty good. They were just A LOT more form fitting then my Levis. However none of the tops fit quite right, including the bras. All in all I walked with a new top and a sense of general failure. One of the sales clerks was skinny and 13 weeks pregnant and had the cutes little (actually it was pretty big for 13 weeks) baby bump. All I could think about as I stood there in my skin tight maternity pants with the giant navy blue belly panel and the maternity bras that just weren't quite right, was that I didn't look pregnant, I just looked fat.

According to the scale on Sunday morning I've only gained 8lbs so far. That is post Christmas and 4 months pregnant. I don't think that's to bad.

Patiently Waiting for "Flutters"

So we had our second visit with Dr. Dempsey today and everything looked good. According to their records I've actually lost a little over a pound since my visit on October 29th. However I've been weighing myself pretty regularly at home and I say I've gained about 3lbs so far. We listened to Peanuts heartbeat and that sounded good. It was just a simple visit, no new pictures this time. However we will have some new ones when we go for our next visit on January 5th.

That is supposed to be "the big visit" but since Tom and I have decided to wait until "the BIG day" to find out what we're having, It will just be another ultrasound to see Peanut and make sure everything is developing properly.

Tom and I have decided to wait because it just really doesn't matter to us weather we're having a boy or a girl. I always thought I would want to know, but now that I'm pregnant all I care about is the baby being healthy. I'm more interested in what the bay looks like then what we're having. The baby will be in our bedroom with us for at least the first little while, so there isn't any rush to know for decorating.

My biggest problem (besides my fingers swelling up occasionally when I sleep) is that I'm desperate to feel the baby move (yes I hear all of you telling me to enjoy this quiet while it lasts.) I keep waiting to feel the flutters, but nothing is happening! I keep reading things that say your baby can hear and with startle to loud noises, but I must have a very mellow baby. Here's hoping... for the flutters AND a mellow baby.

Look At Peanut!

Peanut had some prenatal testing done today which involved doing an ultrasound and measuring the bubble of liquid on the back of the baby's neck. I got a finger prick for some blood work. This test was to look for indicators of Down Syndrome and other associated birth defects. We'll get the official results in about a week, but the tech said everything looked good.

Peanut wasn't nearly so active (I think we were being shy because Aunt Lisa was watching) but we did get some good pictures. Peanuts heartbeat was 150 beats/min and the baby was 7cm from head to rump. I also found out that the placenta is on the back wall of my uterus, so hopefully in the next few weeks we should start feeling some movement. That's harder to do if the placenta is frontally placed. We'll see!

Right now I can't wait to see the baby's face more then I want to know if we're having a boy or a girl. I also want to feel Peanut moving around because unless I'm having an ultrasound and can see the baby, my pregnancy doesn't seem real. Besides being tired, the pregnancy has been very mild so far. So except for cutting out some of my favorite foods and watching what I eat, oh and having to visit the bathroom ALL THE TIME, it's sometimes easy to forget I'm pregnant.

My 1st Baby Dream

I had my first Baby Dream last night. It was a great dream. The baby was a girl - and of course she was ADORABLE!

Watch the Growing Bump!

Now that we have hit the 12 week point (and more importantly, now that there is actually something to see) we took or first Belly picture today. So this way we can watch as it gets bigger and bigger and we'll have something to look back to in a few months. I am still fitting in my into my pants. I have resorted to a rubber band a few times, but that is usually when they are fresh out of the dryer. I even wore my skinny scrubs to work on Wednesday. So even though there is a bump, it's not very big. In all fairness, Peanut's only about 2.5 inches long from head to bum, so I wouldn't have a big bump, yet.

That was one thing I asked the doctor at my first appointment. I didn't want to be dumb, but I am a little worried that my birth wieght might be an indicator of what's to come. God bless my Mom! If she had had either my sister or myself TODAY, she would have had C-sections for both of us. Lisa was a 9lb+ bum first breech and I weighed 11lbs 13oz. Now they usually start talking C-section when they think your baby is 10lbs or more or in the a funny position like Lisa. Then you hear the stories of the heads on Tom's side of the family... well, I'm already sweating a little.

Our First Official Appointment!

So, Peanut and I had our first official appointment today (sadly, Dad was tied up in the OR and couldn't make it.) Things looked really good. I was guestimating the baby to be about 10 weeks and 5 days. The ultrasound placed Peanut at 11weeks and 1 day. Not only was the heartbeat visible, but the baby was dancing up a storm! Dr. Dempsy commented on how active and photogenic Peanut was, though Little wouldn't cooperate for a profile shot. (Oh and no, the irony of nicknaming the baby "Peanut" is not lost on Tom and I - peanuts not being one of Tom's happy foods.) I could have lain there all day and watched the baby wiggle and jiggle. It was just like when you lay a baby down and they squirm and coo, as though Peanut was saying "Hey, Mom, look at me!" It was so great! We also got a flue shot and had blood work done. Well worth the excitement. We have another appointment scheduled for some genetic stuff on November 12th and then our next appointment will be November 26th.

What's That?

I think I am actually beginning to feel the start of a baby bump! My pants are tighter then last week, I find myself unbuttoning my pants when I'm sitting on the couch or after I eat. I think my overall trunk area is looking a bit more "padded" these days. I haven't weighed myself lately. I had a few days last week when I weighed myself and it said I had already gained 7lbs since I got pregnant. I'm guessing it was the Chinese food we had the night before. The next day it said I had only gained 2lbs. Whew! I know I'm going to gain weight, but...7lbs? Peanut is smaller then a peanut in the shell at this point!

Tom spent the first day of his vacation at Babies R Us working on our baby registry with me. He really wants to be involved which I just love. We found a crib set while we were there that we both liked and that will work for a boy or a girl. Since we couldn't add it to the registry, we bought it. It is the first thing we have bought for Peanut. Tom also spent a lot of time on the phone with people from Craig's List and found a dresser he liked that we could use for baby cloths and a changing table. It needs a few new handles and a good cleaning and it will be good to go.

Mmm, Mmm, Good!

Good News! Food is beginning to taste good again! That is good and that is bad. It's nice that I can satisfy my cravings now, but, that just makes me want to eat more! I'm still exhausted, but it takes a lot of energy to grow a baby. I can also still fit into my "skinny" scrub pants. These are the pants I bought two summers ago when I was dieting and walking 6 miles a day. They are also the same pants that didn't fit for a while in between now and then. I still have my "fat" scrub pants (now in all honesty there is only 1 or 2 sizes between the "skinny' and "fat" pants) to fall back on when things get tight, but eventually I'll have to order some maternity pants from Scrub Med. Probably sooner rather then later since they take a while to fill orders. All of my jeans and Khaki's still fit, too. I think I am beginning to notice that there is a little less room then there was, but oddly enough, I think I still have more room then before I knew I was pregnant. My necklace is also longer, as though my neck got thinner. Maybe my pudge is on the move.

Oh, and after last weeks communication debacle with my OB's office, apparently the doctor I saw Friday night talked with my doctor at their weekly division meeting and my OB made it a point to call and talk to me on Tuesday and find out whats up. Then her office called me again tonight to say they had been looking into it and still didn't have an explanation, but if I wanted to get in for a "nurses" appointment before my scheduled appointment to do blood work and answer questions, they would do that just for me. Awwwwww! Now where was all this pampering LAST week?

Hello? Anybody home?

Well! Last night I was just exhausted when I got home from work. I finished off the left over Pork Fried Rice in the fridge and passed out on the couch, I don't remember a thing! Not until Tom called at 10:30 to tell me there was an exciting late night case and he wouldn't be home. Well after my long nap, I wasn't tired, so I was marinating in front of the boob tube.

About 1:30 I went to the bathroom and had a scare. There was pink on the toilet paper. Not really spotting, but weird. So in an effort to stay calm, I investigated. It felt like there was a weird polyp or something on my cervix. So I talked myself down. "Calm down, it's weird, but it's probably nothing, you're not cramping, call the doctor in the morning."

That's what I did. On the way to work, say 8:26, I called and got some dude who assured me it was the right number, but that he couldn't help me and I'd have to call back in 5 minutes when they were answering phones for the day. ARE YOU KIDDING!? Deep Breaths. So I did. Then I left a message for the nurse with my work number and my suspicions and went on my merry way. 10:30 rolls around and I still haven't heard from anyone, so I call again. I am assured that my call will be returned in a timely manner. I admit that by this point I have freaked out a little. I was just looking for some reassurance. But, I busied myself with work and tried not to worry and waited. Then, I called as I got in my car to go home to let them know the number on the message is no longer any good because I'm done with work...only to find out that they are, too! THEY NEVER CALLED ME BACK! So when Tom got home I got him caught up (he got some details I've spared you here) and we talked and he paged the doctor on call. No one called him back. So at 7:30pm, he paged the Doctor on call again and left the "Dr. Person CT Fellow" title with the message.

FINALLY, we got a call back. After rehashing all the details again, we headed off to the friendly L&D floor at MUSC to "have a look see." Well the look see showed that there is in fact something weird with my cervix that will need some follow up. But the best part is that the look see also showed us a healthy little Peanut! We said 8 weeks and the doctor countered with 8 weeks 1 day. We got to see the our little Peanuts heart beating and the doctor clocked it at 152 beats/minute.

Needless to say we both feel much better and having actually seen the baby, things seem a whole lot more real. I do apologize for no photos, but since this was all happening at 9pm while he was taking time out from the four women delivering tonight, it seemed like asking the doctor for copies might be pushing it. Our REAL appointment is only 2 and 1/2 weeks away now, so I'll try and get some then!

No news is good news

So far, so good. I really can't complain at all. I mean I don't want to jinx myself, but I really feel okay so far. I definitely feel more aware of my female bits (I don't want to say "I'm more aware of my uterus" but sort of, not crampy, but there is definitely an awareness I can't say I had before) but generally I don't feel pregnant. I'm definitely more tired. Especially the days I work, I'm just exhausted when I get home. I am also having food cravings, but unfortunately, unless it's really salty or sweet, generally nothing I eat is satisfying my cravings. It just doesn't taste good anymore. That sort of stinks, but considering I don't really need to gain as much weight as Heidi Klum, I think it's okay that food is turning me off.

It's just sort of hard to think " Yeah! THAT would be so good right now!" and you sit there and think about it and want it and then you get it, and the food just doesn't satisfy that desire. That and I can't have Sushi - which I have wanted a lot since we moved here, and we don't have a decent Chinese restaurant to fall on, which would help. I REALLY wish I could drive up to Lilly Market (in NE Portland near my old office) and get an order of Pad Thai and their chicken fried rice. Generally, I have been underwhelmed with restaurants here in Charleston. They have the variety, but not the flavor. Even before I got pregnant, I was disappointed in the general taste of food here. Don't get me wrong, I have had some good food here. I've had two Great meals here. However it isn't affordable to go to those restaurants on a regular basis, not until Tom is a full fledged surgeon and we have a lot more disposable income then we do now. Those two restaurants are Peninsula Grill and Carolina's. Both have GREAT food. Sushi is a crap shoot. I really liked Oriental Garden and Sushi Hiro was good, too. Unfortunately they aren't as affordable as Saburo's in Portland and the servings are small. (But as I said before, that isn't really an issue right now, unless I just stick to Ebi and veggi rolls.

So far though, my pregnancy has been uneventful and smooth. I'm just impatiently counting the days until my first prenatal visit. Sadly, I've found out that I won't be having an ultrasound that day which is REALLY disappointing. I pushed out the appointment to Oct 29th so that I would be 10 and a half weeks along and there would be something to see. Tom is also planning to make it to that appointment if his clinic schedule goes well that day. So I thought it would all fall into place. It turns out though, that they have you back within a month for the first ultrasound. So no pictures for a while more.

Still Posative!

So, except for my all day headache today, I'm still feeling very well. I'm also getting more excited. I keep taking my temperature every morning - and it's still up, which means I'm still pumping progesterone which keeps us moving along. I managed to go a few days without a pregnancy test but took another this evening when I got home from work. There wasn't a faint line anymore. This was a bold line that formed much more quickly then before. I like that. It's silly that I should get so giddy from a little pink dye line, but it just reassures me that everything is OK.

Faint Lines

FINALLY! Yes, folks, faint though they are, there is a second line on those tests (to the left of the dark line) and it is getting darker everyday. It's still really early (actually only two weeks along - since the first two weeks are spent waiting for an egg to appear) so the line is proportional to the amount of beta hCG present. The fact that it is getting darker and my temperature is still up every morning are signs that all is well and we are GROWING A BABY!

I can't even begin to tell you how I feel. I've wanted to be pregnant for SO long. Then with the difficulty we've had getting here (14 months) I kind of lost track of wanting to get pregnant and became obsessed with "why can't I get pregnant?" I had given up for this month. Wednesday, Sept 10th I was SO down. I burst into tears on two friends who called and all I could talk about was what a failure I felt like because I couldn't get pregnant.

I had chalked it up as another opportunity lost and was waiting for Aunt Flow to show up. I had my first positive test on Thursday, September 11th, when I stopped home during lunch. I thought to myself, This is it, if this ones negative, I'm all done wasting tests for this month. I didn't see anything either. Not until later that night. I thought I'd just go check it one more time. I felt total disbelief when I saw that second faint little line. I started comparing it to previous sticks. Checking it in different light. Then I took it into the bedroom and woke Tom up. He gave me the dazed, "I'm supposed to appear awake but really my eyes are just open" look. Our exchange went like this:

Jenn: Tom, I'm sorry to wake you up, but (big smile forming) there's a second line!

Tom: (confused look, High pitched trying not to yawn voice) You're pregnant!? Congratulations! Snnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Then I didn't see Tom for a few days because he was busy at work and just not home. I kept taking tests. When he came home post call Saturday morning I tackled him on the bed and said "Do you remember me waking you up the other night?" He looked very confused and I said "for two lines?" and then the clouds cleared. We went and took another test and got another faint line. So the next step was to email Becca back in Portland (she recommended the tests, she also recommended I start taking Metformin which seems to have been the little something extra we needed all along - YEAH BECCA!) and ask if a faint line counted - was this for real?

Becca called on Sunday and I heard her husband, Ian, Whooping in the background. It's for real. So we are patiently waiting for time to pass and me to become firm. (ha ha) We are excited and hoping for the best, but guarded because it is so early. I scheduled an appointment with an OB/GYN for Oct 29th. Hopefully all will be good and quiet until then. I'm watching what I eat, taking my Metformin, Folic Acid, Vitamins and Calcium and I've started walking the dogs every night.

So far - I feel good, let's hope it stays that way and is all uneventful. (big smile)